Milestones

In my early days of motherhood, milestones were like Olympic medals.  It seemed as if every day, from the very beginning, we were in a race to complete and conquer each milestone.  From breastfeeding to sleeping in the crib, to solid foods, to bottle weaning.  Milestones were not only a hard ran race, but they were also highly competitive in mommy circles.  What I didn't realize then was that the milestones slow down.  They almost come to a halt.  And while your child is still growing and maturing, they are not conquering life at the same pace as they used to.  They may begin to read.  They may recite and sing Taylor Swift songs.  They may even dance their heart out at their dance recitals.  But the big ones...  The first big ones, like first steps, first time on the potty, or first day of kindergarten, those all sadly come too quickly and fade too fast.  
That brings me to one of our last big firsts.
Last Friday night Caitlin lost her first tooth.

I should say that she pulled out her first loose tooth, because that is exactly what she did.  It was funny and sad and bittersweet all at the same time.  She had been begging me and the Hubbs to pull it out, at a constant rate for almost an hour.  The begging and pleading, and we of course refused.  First because, we didn't think it was quite ready, and two, we knew without a doubt it would bleed, and she would loose her proverbial sh%t.  So we told her to be patient and work it with her tongue.  Well that wasn't good enough for her, because within the hour, she pulled that puppy right out.
"Mom, Mom, MOM!", she screamed.  "I pulled out my tooth!!!  I really did it!!!".  Then with fear in her voice, "Is it BLEEDING???!".
It was, and of course I told her it would be ok, we just had to rinse out her mouth.  And she was trying so hard not to cry, but a few tears escaped, and a few of mine too.  This was one of the last milestones for this child for awhile.  Loosing a tooth is the last in a long line of milestones.  As I watched her rinse her mouth, and cup the tiniest tooth I have ever seen in my life, my heart hurt a little.  It took me back to a cold January night close to six years ago, when an infant Caitlin cried and carried on.  A baby who was just inconsolable.  With parents who were total rookies.  And before we could really panic, there were 2 perfect little white mounds on puffy, pink, bloody gums.  That night seemed so long ago in comparison.  Here I was with my almost six year old and her tooth, the one it seemed she just cut yesterday, in the palm of her little girl hand.

Like with everything in this house, we were not quite prepared for the Tooth Fairy.  I had been browsing Pinterest for weeks for a tooth pillow.  Still hadn't made one.  No big deal right?  Felt, glue gun, and some old buttons, we got a pretty hip tooth pillow for my big girl.  The Monster High theme was her idea, of course.  There is nothing like hot gluing a tooth pillow at 10 on a Friday night to confirm that you are indeed a mother.  And not just any mother, but that mother, who despite your best efforts, still doesn't have it together all the time.  Yet, like with all things I've learned as a mom, it all worked out fine.  

I think it's funny that my girl was concerned with getting her picture on Facebook.  She wanted to make sure that we told everyone!  I also thought it was great that she was worried that the Tooth Fairy would not know she lost her tooth.  Mom it's so late, how will she know.  I told her that the Tooth Fairy is on Facebook, and she checks all the posts that use the words "lost tooth" or "tooth fairy".  That's how she knows when kids loose their teeth.  It worked.  We made sure to post extra pictures too just in case.
No one can really prepare you for motherhood.  No one will ever really know what will cut your mothering heart to it's core.  Sometimes it's a lullaby long forgotten.  Maybe a misplaced lovey at the bottom of a closet.  Or maybe it's just a memory, so long ago, that makes you think back to a time you just wanted to get through, and never really thought about savoring.  
Not this time.  With this milestone, we took it all in.
And I was finally at a place that I could enjoy every single minute of it.

Raising narcissistic children {Or bloggers}

Mastering the half tuck and WIW pose like a blogger.

  I have this overwhelming fear that I'm raising narcissistic children.  It's not that I'm raising them to be vain, showering them with complements, telling them they are prettier than the other girls.  On the contrary, I fear that I'm raising them to think that the world wants to know all about them.     I fear it's because I blog and Instagram their lives.
 

She already knows the importance of a selfie.

  If you are a blogger too, then you know that the life that requires you to take a photo of everything.  Your incredibly long wait at the post office.  Your morning Starbucks.  Your healthy (paleo) lunch.  Your dinner you slaved (or drove through) to make.  Every thing and everything is fair game in the life of a blogger.  Even when your kids sits on the potty, it's a bloggable moment. So what example am I setting?  That everything is fodder for the blogosphere?    A few weeks ago, my friend Chelsea posted a picture on Instagram of her adorable daughter hiding behind her ice cream treat, refusing to take a picture.  Her mommy, a blogger was just following the bloggy rules of life.  If it happens, I must photograph it, and it must go on my blog.  We all laughed and liked the picture because we have all been there.  Mac refuses most pictures on most days.  I think she knows, I'm selling her out for Instagram likes.  But it got me thinking, am I raising a child, or children who will think that the world really wants to know everything about them?  

What's a blogger with out a mustache?

  With the invention of social media, we have all become a little more self involved and absorbed.  Does the twitter-verse really want to know that I just got a free frap at Starbucks?  Do my Insta-peeps really care about my scrambled egg breakfast?  I think so.  I also think that they want to see Mac eating a donut, or Caitlin rocking some serious swag.  Only reinforcing the fact that the world wants to know everything about them!  What will their life be like when they grow up?  Will they literally live blog their lives?  Or will this only be a by product of children of mommy bloggers?  I can already hear them in therapy, "Well my mommy was a blogger, so...".   My children are growing up with the sense that everything they do is noteworthy to social media.  That their breakfast is breaking news.  That their outfits are blog worthy.  I'm the only one to blame, and for now it really doesn't bother me, but what am I going to do in 10 years when one of my little miss' wants to start her own blog?  How can I refuse, when I'm doing the same thing?  

Look ma, sunnies, take a pic for Instagram!

  It's already happening now.  Caitlin will put on an outfit of her own Project Runway creation, and will ask me to take a picture so I can put it on Facebook.  She recently asked for her own Instagram account so she can photograph and publish her Monster High and Lalaloopsy tableaus.  It's slowing happening that she knows the world wants to know about her.  It's kind of scary isn't it?
  For now, I'm ok with blogging our lives.  It's really turned into a memory book for us.  Instagram is our family photo album.  I just worry what the future is going to bring.  How happy will the friends and boyfriends of my daughters be?  Will they understand the need to document every single life event on social media, or will they just think they are vain and narcissistic?   Until then I've got time.
 

  Or do I?
 

Summer Snacks {stay healty. be happy}

Many of you know that I'm on a highly specific diet.  Since February 2012 I've been grain, caffeine, sugar, and dairy free.  That's a lot of free!  But what looked like a challenge a year and a half ago, doesn't look so bad now.  The thing is, I love when I'm offered to review healthy snacks, that are great for my family, but even I can indulge in.  I was super excited to try Nature Box and review it here.  This is a paid post and Nature Box did send me delicious snacks to eat.
My favorites were the pistachios, the kids loved the lemon meringue waffles, and the husband loved the BBQ kettle kernels.  The kettle kernels were a lot like corn nuts, but with none of the preservatives or hard to pronounce scientific experiment ingredients.  We also received guacamole bites.  I was a little sad that they contained corn, which is a no no for me, but according to my brother in law, they have a nice bite, and will be making their way into a taco salad very soon.  
Never heard of Nature Box?  Neither had I.  Here is a little about them:

• NatureBox is a subscription service that offers the ability to discover and enjoy healthy snacks on a monthly basis.  • NatureBox’s products are made from wholesome ingredients and are Nutritionist-approved. They abide by strict quality standards: No High Fructose Corn Syrup, No Partially Hydrogenated Oils, No Trans Fats, No Artificial Sweeteners, No Artificial Flavors, No Artificial Colors. • NatureBox members receive a Discovery Box of surprise snacks for their 1st NatureBox and then they have the option to choose the snacks they receive. • NatureBox is available in 3 sizes, at 3 different price points: Deluxe Snacker (5 bags for $19.95), Family Snacker (10 bags for $29.95) and Professional Snacker (20 bags for $59.95).  • All NatureBoxes are cataloged and each month they display the nutrition label and ingredient list for previous NatureBox snacks on the site:  naturebox[dot]com/naturebox-foods/ •NatureBoxes make great gifts for your friends and family for holidays, special occasions, or anytime. College students, summer campers, teachers, coaches, new parents, and deployed service members all love to receive healthy snacks any time of the year. • Naturebox shares delicious recipes and healthy eating tips on their blog:   and social media sites.  • NatureBox currently ships to the 48 continental states as well as FPO/APO addresses. They also ship to P.O. Boxes. Your monthly box always ships free (with the exception of Hawaii and Alaska - shipping is $1.97 to ensure a more expedited delivery).  Each bag has 3-5 servings of that snack within it.

They are also dedicated to making summer snacking easier and healthier.   Click here to, visit the NatureBox site for $10 off any sized box (Deluxe, Family, Professional Snacker) by entering the promo code SUMMERSNACK10. 
The promotional code expires August 31st, 2013 and is valid for new customers only and may only be used towards monthly subscriptions. Cannot be used towards a purchase of a gift subscription. Monthly subscriptions may be cancelled at anytime.
It's a super sweet deal, and it's even sweeter to get happy mail you can eat.  There are seriously enough snacks to share with all our neighbors while we hang out on long summer nights.  Take a moment to visit Nature Box, and check out some yummy healthy snacks that you and your family will love. Thanks for reading and possibly eating!

• Full disclosure: this article is financially supported by NatureBox

The Father's Day post that almost didn't get written

  My husband knows that I love him in an almost obscene way.  He gets that I get stressed, that I get tired and that I try to make things perfect even when they are crumbling around me.  The reason why I love him is that he hardly ever loses his cool about the little things.  That's why even though its 6:36 in the evening on Father's Day, he will appreciate this post anyway.   Early this morning, I went through our hard drive and founds some of my favorite pictures of John being a Dad.  The pictures that make him a Dad.  The ones I knew I would take all those years ago, when we were on the outs.  The pictures I knew I'd take the day I said I do.  The kind of pictures I have been taking since June 2007 when Caitlin was born.  These are the essence of fatherhood for John.  It's funny because this weekend was one that we really had to do some serious talking about his career.  The one that has been paying the bills for 6 years.  The one we rely so heavily on.  We had to talk about new adventures, new beginnings, and possibly new routines.  For the first time in six years, this man, my man, has a new perspective.  He now has the eyes of a father.  Not that he hasn't before, but this year for the first time, it wasn't about the money, or the career, or even the notoriety.  It was about his girls, simply stating, "I'd miss them too much".  Which my friends, is so poetic and breathtaking to this mama.  It completely confirms what I have known all along, that there was never a question about this man.  This dad.  

The day he became a dad.

Trying to soothe a mad as hell Mac.

Daddy and Mac just chillin.

Bounce house shenanigans.

He can never deny that this child is his, because

I'll use this picture as evidence.

Throwing leaves on Thanksgiving 2011.

A picture on the eve of last father's day.  Perfection.

Teaching his girls about baseball.

Smothering him with love.

First Father Daughter Dance excitement.

This picture reminds me that there is no other person I'd rather share my life with.

Dear Hubbs,

Thank you for making my dreams come true.

Even the ones I never dreamed about.

This is my happily ever after.

With love,

The wife

Happy Father's Day!

 
linking up

No f**ks left to give...

 

source via Pinterest

  I'm sure I've already offended you.  Sorry, I'm not sorry.  Today I posted the following status on Facebook:       That said here is where I stand.  My mom was hospitalized for heat exhaustion, dehydration, and a sinus infection not once, but twice over the weekend.  One of those times I had to call an ambulance for her, the second time I was at Whole Foods and just made it home before my car died.  What's that you say?  Yes, I'll repeat that for you.  My.  Car.  Died.  Thankfully it was in the driveway of my own home.  Of course with all my keen organization skills I was able to find the spare keys to John's car in 45 minutes or less.  Because as I was home dropping off my whole foods haul, and he was at my mom's swimming, with his phone in the house while my mom was at the ER.  That was my Sunday people.   Yesterday, was a Monday to shame all other Mondays.  You see, my mom takes care of my kids in the afternoon.  So, I had to work it out with my MIL, so she could stay until 12, so I could work 5 hours and then rush home, to get lunch and Caitlin to a hair appointment for her dance recital rehearsal.  It was just stacking up to be that kind of day.  Also add in the fact that my mom is still feeling terrible, that I may or may not have to find alternative child care, and then add in the $240 it requires to attend a dance recital successfully.  Ok so it's not $240, but I had to write 3 different checks, swipe my card twice, and count quarters for pictures, hair, make up and late dues.  Again, a Monday to shame many previous Mondays.   That brings me to today.  I'm tired from my 4:30 am wake up call.  My roots are showing their age, which apparently is 85, and my kids once again ate McDonalds.  Add to that the pint of coconut milk ice cream I devoured at the counter while checking Instagram, the Jillian Michaels DVD calling me a fat ass from the entertainment center, and a house that looks like a tornado hit it.    You want to know what I did?   I laid my ass on the couch.  Shoes off, decorative pillows at the ready.  I turned on Big Bang Theory for my kids.  Yes, I sure did.  And I closed my eyes and tried in vain to take a nap.  It was a joke but I tried.  It was then that I realized I'm all out of F**KS to give.   Smashed cereal in the floor - zero F**ks to give.   Clean Laundry piled higher than me - zero0 F**ks to give.   Kids that need a bath - zero F**ks to give.   To do lists from last week - zero F**ks to give.   Birthday party invites to mail - zero F**ks to give.     Maybe tomorrow I'll find some to give.   But right now, I seriously doubt it.  

Schools out for SUMMER!

It's been a busy and crazy last few days, but with a huge sigh of relief, SCHOOL IS OUT! And here is the necessary recap to get you up to speed, and get me motivated to write more posts. It's over 100 degrees here folks, yesterday 109, so we'd all rather be in the pool, than in the house, with momma glued to the computer.  My apologies!

I thank my lucky stars for good friends and neighbors who take pictures of my gal when I can't.  This is Olympics day at school.  Tug of war like a boss.  She looks like she is having a blast and I'm glad, since the night before she was crying because I had to work.  Mommy problems, right?

Kindergarten completed.  Mommy heartbroken.  Ok, not really, but when those kiddos started singing sons they didn't even know at the beginning of the year, I lost myself for a minute.  They are all so big now, including my own.  Where on earth did the time go?  I know, everyone told me that it would go so fast, but still I didn't believe them... Now I do.

Add a hand print and a guilt inducing poem to completely devastate me on an already emotional day.  This shattered my heart a little, and took me back to how amazing it is that Caitlin and I made it.  Another year down, another year completed and we are both fine.  If you would have told me six years ago that everything would work out fine, that we'd both be ok, I wouldn't have believed it.  Proving again, that no matter how many mistakes you make as a mother, no matter how bad you think you are doing, you are not.  You are in fact doing it right.  Thank God, right?

Caitlin and her teacher Mrs. Nelson.  She started out as our teacher, but at the end of the year she is most definitely our friend.  Part of the family even.  We are both going to miss her terribly, but hopefully we will keep in touch.  And I'm really hoping Miss Mac gets her class in 2 years!!

You never realize how much your child has grown until you do the comparison.  How is it possible that I didn't see this?  I didn't even notice.  But here it is.  My baby is growing up.  Just like everyone said she would.  And while I welcome the milestone, the end of kindergarten and the entrance into first grade, I'm also a little bit heart broken.  I'm really not ready for this, but like with every step I have taken with this child, I will move forward.  A little bit stronger this time, a little bit more aware, and with the knowledge that Caitlin and I really can do anything.  

Hello {June}

Good-bye Kindergarten.
Hello First grade!

Hello June.  What a big month you are.  I'm trying to welcome you with open arms.  You see while you bring the end of the school year, swimming weather, and late nights outside, this year you are going to bring some major milestones.  
Hello First Grade.  We will be ready for you.  We are so excited to play on the big play ground.  We are excited to see our 2nd grade friends.  And we are excited to be considered a "big kid".
Hello Loose Tooth.  You took so long to get here.  But we are so happy that you brought your friends.  Three loose teeth to start.  Alert the tooth fairy.  She's gonna need to dip into her savings.
Hello Pierced Ears.  We are coming for you.  We are a little nervous, and Daddy needs a little more convincing.  But we know what we want, and we want earrings.  
Hello Six.  Six years old.  Six years of life.  Six years of motherhood.  Six years of challenges.  Six years of bliss.  A half dozen of perfectly imperfect blessings.  We are ready for you six.
Hello Big Girl.  Mommy is so proud of you.  You have grown up to be so brave, so independent, so smart.  Those early September mornings filled with tears are just a distant memory.  Your hand demanding to be held tightly, is only a slight clasp.  You long to run free and play with your friends.  You are growing up at warp speed, but it can't be helped.  I'd say to slow down, but you don't know the meaning.  
Hello June, a big month, filled with big plans, big dreams, and big milestones.  
You are a big deal.

This post was inspired by Hello Monday. For more Hello Monday, visit Lisa Leonard,  and link up your own.